
Against all odds, prayers and pleas, 2021 was somehow even worse than 2020. We did it! Apocalyptic without the novelty, full of so much death that everyone now just counts bodies, maybe this last year will finally be the poison pill that kills nostalgia addiction? It’s a lot harder to be fanciful about past pop culture when the context of that entertainment is super icky. VH1 I love the 90s is not likely to have a sequel titled I love the era of the plague.
Here in Omaha, our local and regional theaters have survived. Oh they don’t swan Scrooge McDuck dives in lukewarm pools of gold coins or anything. Still, just continuing to exist in this environment is no small thing, given that they were blasted at close range with a double barrel of bad bullshit. The ACX Cinema 12+ celebrated its first full tour around the sun. Film Streams once again welcomed customers for regular and repertory screenings at Dundee and Ruth Sokolof cinemas. Marcus Theaters recently started offering “vaxxed-only” screenings, hoping to appease those who, rightly so, are still a little hesitant to lock themselves in a room full of strangers with questionable hygiene and bad habits. Varying ‘opinions’ on scientific medical information, which is the real lasting legacy of 2021.
Next month we will do a happy dance. I’ll be releasing my top 10 movies of the year, late as always. Why? Because even during a pandemic, in which everyone is used to broadcasting everything, the top award contenders are still treated like Michelin-starred delicacies that the roller coaster of the East and West can eat first, we leaving, us, the Midwest, lick the crumbs. For now, let’s take a look at the terrible! In a quest for catharsis, let’s leave Marie Kondo to all the elements related to the cinema of 2021 which whistled on our joy for a 2022 which can surely not be worse. To the right? To the right??
Why Art and Home?
It’s not like things are Great for independent arthouse films at the time, but the pandemic emerged everywhere in unsuccessful films. There is a growing public willingness to risk the Rona for Spider-Man and his incredible friends, but little films have a hard time. Hard.
that of Wes Anderson The French dispatch withdrew less than $ 15 million from the country. His latest film, The Grand Hotel Budapest, won $ 60 million. Do you understand that people always dress like characters from The Royal Tenenbaums for Halloween (and in everyday life)? I gave one of his movies a B-, and thought I was going to get stabbed to death with a weird comb by someone humming some obscure European pop song. If the cult of Anderson isn’t enough to have vintage jeans-covered buttocks in the seats, what hope do the new writers / directors have?
The old problem was space: cinemas did not want to give up a screen to a foreign French film when they could squeeze another screening of Fast and Furious 17: Vin Diesel’s wheelchair vs. The Rock’s electric scooter. Now, there’s a lot of space, but the audiences flocking to non-traditional cinema are the kind who are likely to, you know, take concerns about the spread of disease seriously. I’m not trying to make this political, because science shouldn’t be, I’m just saying if you draw a diagram of “People who know what Titanium is about ”and“ People who wear face masks over their mouths and noses, ”there is going to be some overlap.
For now, those of us who don’t just have a tiny handful of studios that dominate theaters for the rest of our lives need to talk with our wallets. Support the little movies when you feel safe and drop full-priced coins on home rentals until then. That’s it or we’ll be stuck watching the sons of famous directors remake their dads’ movies forever.
Streaming struggles
Speaking of crossing streams, Hollywood’s half-crazy plan for how to handle home theater is rolling out as you’d expect. We are all suddenly navigating a colossal group of 37 platforms and interfaces. Like stupid beggars clinging to boxcars, streaming gold-chasing studios have given us… a more confusing version of cable? Seriously, you know they’re literally going to be reinventing cable again, right? “The Disney Bundle” will soon give way to “Cable Classic” and we’ll thank them all when they do.
Serious movie men had tantrums when they found out their serious movies weren’t going to hit the big screens. Did it really hurt income or yields? Who knows?! They’re all lying between their teeth about how many people have streamed what. Netflix counts as a view if you think about one of their movies long enough to remember its name. Dune made a hundred thousand despite being released early on HBO Max. Is it good? Again, who knows ?! If those people who wanted to see Space Paul vs. the Sand Tapeworms on super-duper IMAX could do so and those who like Frank Herbert’s book but would prefer a much less germinated and shady experience should watch it safe, than seems like a win-win.
Here’s the problem: Without going into pandemic prediction mode, I think we can safely agree that it’s not going to go away suddenly. Still, it seems no one is closer to making logical, reasoned decisions about how best to handle the distribution of films so that audiences are happy, theaters can survive, and studios can continue to earn money. money while recording their films in net losses. . Of course, it looks like 2021 was a good time to make a plan. This does not happen. Look for 2022 to be even worse in terms of confusion over how, when and where to watch what you want. Hooray!
The 5 Worst Movies of the Year
To put a beautiful shine to this poop, this is the moment that you did not wait (not) waited for. Before I hit you with the weakest gravy, I mean I do this because it’s fun and it starts a conversation, not because I like to shit on something someone likes somewhere. I promise you, every movie listed below was some favorite movie of the year. I like that thought, really. We have come to view opinions as a personal affront when they are nothing more than a reflection of how we see the world and the myriad of complex, ever-changing and invisible influences. work on us. I am glad that we have a diversity of thoughts on what is good and what is not. So here are the bad movies that were the most bad this year.
5 – The bodyguard of the hitman’s wife
This lousy, boisterous, and crass ‘throwback’ action comedy ousted a M. Night Shyamalan film from this list. Do you know the kind of grotesque hell that Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson had to summon to do something I didn’t like more than another Shyamalan movie about Magic Water?
4 – The last duel
One of two stinky steamboats that Ridley Scott ditched this year, it’s (hopefully) the only big-budget movie to give a rapist’s point of view a third of the runtime. Make Ben Affleck and Matt Damon wear a soul patch a mullet should be enough to keep any movie on this list. Do you know what can negate this? Multiple, long, “glamorous” rape sequences. No thanks please!
3 – Last night in Soho
Someone on the Internet “dragged” me for saying I lost faith in Edgar Wright after Baby Driver. It’s a movie with Kevin Spacey and Ansel Elghort. Google them and see what happens! The point is, it’s no surprise that Soho is a kinky and misguided dive into sex work that presents the worst “twisted” ending of the year. And, as we discussed, M. Night Shyamalan made a movie this year.
2 – Smart
I don’t care if this horror movie is an intentional homage to the schlocky genre films of the past. I care that it was played so poorly that I spent the first half of the movie thinking the twist was that we were watching a bad movie in a real movie. The has been no real movie, the joke is on me!
1 – Roadrunner
Rotten Tomatoes wouldn’t let me give an F-, but I did. This macabre and monstrous reframing and manipulation are as irresponsible as the cinema does. An Anthony Bourdain documentary could have, and arguably should have, been a deep gateway to meaningful reflection. Instead, a director shamed himself, even if he didn’t tarnish the good reputation of a struggling man.